God

Confessions. I haven't been to church in well over a month. Probably two. But it's not about church.

 I was having a conversation the other day and I was told that my views on "religion" were "black and white." Well, I kind of agree. You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. I have a hard time calling it religion though. Such a cold word. I really don't know what to call it. Faith? Relationship with God? The older I get, the more people I encounter who do not share my views on "religion." Probably 80% of the people I have gotten to know recently have different views on God. Surprise, surprise, right? But that's okay. It's taken me nearly 30 years to figure out that the world is bigger than Savannah, Georgia. It kind of hurts to type that.

I have such a hard time expressing to people why I believe what the Bible says. I understand that many stories from the Bible sound far fetched and out of touch with today's reality. I get it. We don't see many burning bushes or parting seas, or seas turning to blood for that matter, or water to wine or women turning to pillars of salt. Its weird...I understand. The creation story sounds fictional. But I choose to believe because of the feeling of peace I have come to know and the way the Bible feeds my soul. The more I learn, the more it all makes sense.

It was about 10 years ago when I started wanting to learn more about God's nature and his character on my own, not because I had to for school or any other kind of obligation. It was then that it started clicking for me. One of my favorite authors, Francine Rivers, explained it best. She wrote:  "I started to crave the Word of God...it was like food and clean, clean water..." Yep. That's pretty much how I felt. I couldn't get enough. Again, as she says, "It filled the emptiness inside me, it renewed me. It opened my eyes & ears & mind & heart & filled me with joy." And that's why I talk about it. Its hard not to share when you can pin point the root of all good things.

The only other way I can think to describe it all is back to my trusty old friend,  C.S. Lewis. He says:

" I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun- not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else." 

Its the joy in the faces of my students, proudly belting out their off key performances of Adele & Katy Perry songs for a captivated audience at the last PTA meeting of the year.

Its the way one selfless little boy wins a prize at the end of math group for doing the best work and wants to give it away to the struggling little girl who hasn't yet earned a prize.

Its hearing the words "I missed you today," for no particular reason on a typical Wednesday night.

Its opening my old journals of favorite verses and having the familiar words speak comfort to my soul.

Its the feeling of understanding and being understood.

Its dogs smelling good like apples. 

Its love and joy. Its peace and patience. Its kindness and goodness. Its faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

(Galatians 5:22)

Possibly Having a Stalker

Strange things have been happening around here lately.

First things first. My mom called me a couple weeks ago and told me I had an E-bay package waiting for me at her house. It's been a couple years since I've dabbled in the E-bay scene, so out of curiosity, I had her open it. I thought surely I'd remember ordering something once I saw what was inside.

Well, this is what was inside. A poster. With man/woman/creation written in marker in this odd pattern. Is this a joke? Is this code for something? Who would even buy this? After racking my brain for a couple days, I resigned to that fact that it was some freakish mix up of addresses. And names.

Just about the time I had forgotten about the poster, I received a hand addressed envelope. The return address was a common man's name and last name (kind of like John Doe) with a PO Box only, from New York. Inside this one? Hand clipped makeup coupons. We're talking...this person went through the newspaper and clipped coupons. At this point I am starting to panic a little bit. My mom is convinced that its anthrax. I am feeling like this is the beginning of a Lifetime movie.

This past weekend, the pattern continued. Two more packages arrived, this time from China. One was labeled : Creative Item. Wasn't as exciting as it sounds. The creative item was a sim card adapter. The second package was five beads. Just five.

I'm kind of amused to be honest. Maybe something really cool and useful will be delivered next time. However, I'm pretty sure its time I investigate further before I end up on the news. Suggestions anyone?

What I Ate Wednesday

On one of the blogs I follow, the girl does this theme on "What I Ate Wednesday." Well, I don't know what she does for a living, maybe blogging, because otherwise I don't know how she comes up with the perfectly balanced and beautiful meals that she eats every Wednesday and probably most other days of the week. She's one of those. Perfectly healthy. All the time. Even her splurges are healthy.

This Wednesday, she ate elaborate omelets topped with "shredded raw goat cheddar" and "homemade Italian dressing,"  super fancy salads filled with kale and Asian pears, fresh picked strawberries for a snack...yadda yadda yadda.

Wanna know what I ate on Wednesday? Well for breakfast I can keep up with her fanciness. I had gluten free oatmeal topped with chopped pecans, coconut flakes, natural peanut butter, dark chocolate chips (small handful) and honey. For lunch, still pretty fancy. I had a whole wheat quesadilla filled with mozzarella, fresh spinach, and dill. Also an orange. Then this is where it falls apart...I completely lost all self control and ate half the box of the student's treats that I have stashed under my desk. Probably about 30 whoppers (malted milk balls...not the burgers). I haven't made it to my after school snack or dinner yet but maybe I can redeem myself. It will most likely be leftovers because I actually cooked last night. Angel hair pasta with sauteed zucchini, mushrooms, garlic, and basil.

What did you eat Wednesday? I'd love to know!

Vision Boards

Last week my yoga studio showed a documentary called Hungry for Change. It was a good follow up for those of us who have completed the Clean Diet (and those who have fallen off the wagon, ahem...) My friend Angie and I made clean snacks and spent our Friday night being wholesome and watching the movie with a bunch of other yogis. She made the most delicious pumpkin cookies which I tried to recreate and failed miserably. I made a Lemony Spinach Hummus....straight from the recipe. No creativity here. Reaaallly garlicky, but pretty good! I have decided that I need a food processor. The blender wasn't meant for making hummus.

During the movie, there was a part that touched on how our brains function primarily on images and how it helps to show our brain pictures of our goals in life. The example was: if you go to a different country where you can't speak their language and try to ask, "Where is the restroom?" no one will have a clue what you're trying to say. On the other hand, if you draw a picture of a toilet and use that as your communication, the request is no longer foreign. Same thing with our brains. Sometimes words get misconstrued, so if we focus on a picture, over a period of time our brains will recognize what we want and we will become more naturally suited towards achieving our goals. So....yeah it sounds a little hokey to me too, but at the same time....I get it. I like the idea.

Fast forward to tonight. Angie had me over for dinner and we drank wine and went on a walk and talked about a little bit of everything....Then...we got down to business. Cork board + magazines + scissors + tacks + playlists + sitting cross- legged on the floor + her cats biting and pawing at magazine pages=  VISION BOARDS.

Here is my final product. So happy with it! You should definitely make one. Especially if you are on Spring Break like me :)

Passing It On

I got this text from my sister today as she was on the way to my house: "Mom gave me a bag with some stuff you left at her house... she put some receipts she found on the ground that you dropped and also a little twine string with a bird on it that you can maybe use for something."

Just ponder on that for awhile.  My family apparently doesn't like to throw stuff away so they pass around their junk hoping that the next person can use it. Somehow I am the one they always pass it to. I have a hard time throwing things away and they probably know this. They know their junk will be put to good use with me.

Other things I have been gifted with recently: fork packets, plastic to-go containers from restaurants, magazines, sweatshirts, hotel toiletries, trinkets that come in the mail from places that want you've donated money to 15 years ago. For example: dream catchers, stickers, pocket calendars, guardian angel pins... you know what I'm talking about.

I hope I don't end up on Hoarders one day.

...now I'm afraid to post this because they may decide after reading to quit giving me stuff. Please don't! I am grateful for every "thing" you send my way.

Sincerely,
Caroline

Sully & Alley

Sometimes I swear children's books were written for grown ups. Last week my reading group at school was going over a story called Sully the Seal and Alley the Cat. The rest of the class is more advanced and on to novel studies, so we just keep it simple and do smaller, more understandable stories. Much more my speed anyway.

As we were reading our book, a paragraph from the story jumped out at me. Alley the Cat is the narrator of this particular story and he is describing how he and Sully the Seal became friends. The line went like this:

"But Sully and I didn't care if we were different. It was how we were alike that counted. We both really liked fish. We both loved to play. We both liked being petted and taking long naps in the sun. We'd curl up together in the afternoons and Sully's coat felt like a silk bed. So it really didn't matter that we came from different places and looked different. We learned to love eachother."

Simple, but just what I needed to hear. Some of my favorite people in the whole wide world are the ones who are very different from me. Different, but the same. They are the ones who teach me the most. Leave it to children's books. They get me every time.

ASL

I'm writing this post from my iPhone. It's a first. I can't get my thoughts out as fast as I do when I'm typing on a keyboard with both hands, but I'm babysitting tonight so I figured this is as good a time as any.

For the month of February I took a beginners ASL (American Sign Language) class & absolutely fell in love. I've been intrigued with sign language for as long as I can remember, but especially for the past 6 years or so after the deaf/hard of hearing program took up residence at the school where I teach. They only stayed for a year or two, but I learned little bits and pieces back then & I wanted to know more! I would find myself getting carried away watching the interpreters as they signed & I'd forget that I had my own students to take care of. I remember random signs like.... shoes & socks. Not sure what good that's going to do me if I ever wanted to communicate with someone who was deaf. After this class, I am proud to say that I am fluent in the alphabet. I'll finger spell anything you can imagine. I also know ALL my numbers (up to the  billions- no joke), still a little rusty on months of the year and days of the week, but I could talk to you all day long about family members or foods!

 Learning happens best by teaching, so I always go back and teach my students at school everything I learned in my sign language class the night before. Most of them loved it. The ones who I thought wouldn't pick up on it very fast were some of the best signers. Interesting how it can be an alternate form of communication even for people who are not deaf. My very favorite thing from the whole ASL class was the video we watched at the end of a girl signing a song for her college level deaf education final exam. I'm going to post it the link on here, but be warned....if you are offended by language, don't watch it. If you can get past the language, its one of the most expressively signed songs I've ever seen. I'm working on learning the whole thing just for kicks. Lets just say, I can do the first 15 or so words or so.

Here it is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv3tadz5Q3o